Freedmen – Read Your Bibles Part Two

I was assisted in this part two reposting and expansion by a bottle of Silverado Vineyards – Oakville Station Cabernet Sauvignon 2014. A Napa Valley killer that is on the top tier of California vintages. Smooth expresso on the front end. The middle pops with its strong and sustained blueberry, and cherry notes. A dark weaving-in of vanilla and chocolate on the back end. Quiet tannins. Silky finish.

“If the concept of God has any validity or use, it can only be to make us larger, freer, and more loving. If God cannot do this, then it is time we got rid of him.”

James Baldwin

PART TWO:

Let us get this Part Two started with the proper mood.

“Slaves, in reverent fear of God submit yourselves to your masters, not only to those who are good and considerate, but also to those who are harsh. For it is commendable if someone bears up under the pain of unjust suffering because they are conscious of God. But how is it to your credit if you receive a beating for doing wrong and endure it? But if you suffer for doing good and you [still] endure it, this is commendable before God. To this you were called, because Christ suffered [on the Cross] for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps.”

1 Peter 2:18-21 NIV

Now – let’s talk slavery.

Black Christians hate for the slavery parts of the Bible to be brought up because that embarrassing slavery issue hits so very close to that home and ancestry thing. Right? And because any divinely permitted slavery calls into obvious question the actual quality of biblically sourced “morality,” seeing as how slavery in itself is morally indefensible in any context. In any way. Do you understand?

“That’s right Black Christians:” If SLAVERY is Permissible:

Then rape, murder, battery, kidnapping, false imprisonment, forced labor, and robbery is Righteously Permissible. Since those seven criminal components are the principal aggregates of slavery. So, with that: I’m speaking to all of those “moral barometer” type niggers out there, that need to ask: “Where was God’s ‘moral barometer’ poppin’ with This Shit?” Before any of them – standing tall in their righteous religious arrogance, ask anyfuckingbody else: “Where is yours?” If the same God that all those indoctrinated, Black, Christian expletives believe in – can sanctify, regulate, and permission, this kind of immoral, inexcusable, bullshit.

Was that offensive? Oh Jeez – I’m sorry.

The slavery directives from the mouth of God kinda destroys the “all men are equal in the eyes of the Lord” argument. And likewise, the tired-assed Black preacher bromide: “We are all God’s children…” Are we? All of us? That bromide is so fucked. So Black folks – how does God permit some of his “children” to enslave some of his other “children” if we are all “equal in the eyes of the Lord?” Especially if many or all of those enslaved “children” have most certainly done nothing obvious within this lifetime to deserve to be so onerously circumscribed – within this lifetime. Abortion opponents consistently tell us that every single soul is created at the moment of conception. Well – are they? And if they are, by what process are some “equally-seen” souls designated for enslavement – or not?

Understand Guys:

The Bible is literally a sickening slave-o-holic orgy of God-given morality in action. Some parts, like in Old Testament Leviticus, spell out directly from the Lord God’s mouth – rules, regulations, designations, and standards. Like: “You can enslave Those motherfuckers – just don’t enslave These motherfuckers.” That’s Leviticus 25:45-46 KJV. And: “You can beat the motherfucking shit out of your slave – just don’t beat ALL of the shit out of him. OK?” That’s Exodus 21:20-21 KJV.

Other parts on slavery found in the New Testament read like a manual of slave etiquette. Sweet, pretty stuff like: “Slaves, no matter how big an asshole your slave master might be, do not hate him. But continue to serve him well because he belongs to the congregation of believers. Oh, and don’t forget to teach other slaves this shit.” That’s 1 Timothy 6:2 KJV. Read it – read that Bible, and understand gentlemen; that Holy Bible is always on the side of the slaveholder – not the slave.

The Bible also says: “Slaves, no matter how far your slave master may have his foot up your ass, or how badly he may abuse you – it is your duty as a good and faithful slave to maintain your devotion to your master, as well as your nigger-assed respectfulness towards him.” That’s 1 Peter 2:18 KJV. And in order to make sure that a slave stayed in working order. Jesus HEALS A SICK SLAVE, and afterwards, he graciously takes the time to praise the honorable slavemaster holding this man, for his strong fucking faith. Y’all Black Right? That’s Luke 7:2-10 KJV.

You’ll notice – Jesus doesn’t do FREEDOM.

And no Christian could rightly bring to me the convoluted and meaningless equality statement expounded in Ephesians 6:5-9 KJV, nor the excretable lie of “no favoritism” rendered as Galatians 2:6 NIV. These verses (and others) are used a lot by spiritual hustlers to “wallpaper” over other biblical verses regarding slavery that are clearly not acceptable to the generally enlightened moral sensibilities of most 21st Century Americans. Guys, open your Bibles please and read these beautifully rendered verses directly for yourselves. Then think carefully about my reaction to them: “No matter how adeptly clergymen and spiritual hustlers may work their interpretive magic on these verses, there is not, nor ever will there be equality between former master and former slave.” None. Never. Do you understand?

So…

That is why I like to bring slavery up when us Black folks are talking Bible stuff among ourselves. Because Man, when I do bring it up, one or more Christian zealots will lose their minds. And then they start kicking-up dust and sputtering aggressively about “misinterpreting” and “twisting the word,” and I laugh my ass off because all that defensive shit is pure entertainment to me. “But Christians, it is too damned bad somebody a long time ago didn’t have the foresight to edit that slave shit out of there – but they didn’t. And it is too late to take those slave verses out. We all know they are difficult to explain away. And too many folks in the world have seen those words. They have to stay in there, for everybody else and more to see. If you took them out now – somebody will look like they are:

FULL OF SHIT.” (“somebody pour me a shot”)

Now. Black Atheists get particularly peeved when a faith-addled Black person will say this shit: “The slavery in the Bible was different than the slavery we had here!” Niggers! Even if slavery were “different,” given our history, why would any sane African American type person be cool with slavery on any level, in whatever flavor – whether the permission to do slavery came from heaven or earth? Talk about “operational stupidity?” Every society mentioned in the Bible, from Babylon to Egypt, was a fucking slave regime. If anything, slavery could have been more brutal during biblical times than the nasty American version. Maybe.

Why? How? Because slavery in those times was culturally ingrained, judicially punitive, contractually compensative via indenture, militarily strategic, politically expedient, and unorganized. Whereas the (400 plus year) American version was done purely from an organized business intent. The most important part of an international agricultural-industrial-finance complex. A great example of misregulated capitalism fully intentioned and worked to its logical limits.

So, there was a necessary “corporate” interest in keeping slaves in the best working condition as possible, and as under control on every level as possible. No “corporate interest” – no need to keep slaves from learning how to read. Understand? The “corporate interest” is why organized American slavery did not want slaves to learn how to read – and would execute or isolate those slaves that had or acquired even the slightest degree of literacy. Slave literacy in the United States was bad for business. But conversely – in many instances, unorganized ancient slavery utilized literate and/or skilled slaves as teachers and tutors.

The only advantage that ancient slaves seemed to have over American slaves was some autonomy of thought, and some basic freedom of expression. But it was still slavery – and as such, is still totally indefensible.

Guys, remember that the centerpiece of the narrative in “The Epistle To Philemon” (this Book is in the New Testament) was regarding a runaway slave by the name of Onesimus. “Slavery was different?” OK – does “different” mean “better?” OK. Then why is the Bible talking about a runaway slave, if slavery was so “different” – and maybe “better” in biblical times? What the fuck was Onesimus running from? Decor in the slave quarters wasn’t fashionably up to par? Cheap champagne? Not enough days off? What? The text alludes that Onesimus stole money from Philemon. OK. Why did he have to steal? But Hey Guys! Isn’t the brutal American history of slavery heavily shot through with accounts of runaways? And doesn’t the motherfucking Bible permit the beating of slaves? Via Exodus 21:20-21 KJV?

Fuck Outta Here…

Come On: Is it possible in biblical times they also had an “Underground Railroad” too of sorts, that we don’t know about? If there was, could it be that it was set up for the same reasons as the American one? Who knows? Maybe, if there were runaways in biblical times, then maybe, it was about the same slave shit we had in America? Christian slaves running away from Christian slaveholders?

For the same reasons?

And Guys – may I remind you. Slavery is SLAVERY motherfuckers!!!

Is that really so hard for Black people to understand? There is no possible justification for biblically-approved slavery Guys. NONE. Why is that no-brainer concept so hard for niggers to wrap their fucking minds around? No Slavery Man!!! NO. NONE. OK? And fuck a “Ten Commandments.” That’s Right – FUCK that commandment shit Man!!! Look Dude – if someone “owns” you, any morals that your “masters,” or that God himself may demand that you exercise, simply would not, should not, and cannot apply to you. Never. For example: If you are a slave, it is perfectly moral for you to kill your master AND his family. Yep.

That’s right – KILL that motherfucker. Keep a lock around his neck until the lights go out. Other Possibilities: Stabbing. Shooting. Bludgeoning. Hanging. Poisoning. Buried While Alive. Just pick your flavor. Done. Over. Relief. “Now didn’t that feel good?” That would not be murder. That would be a justified act of liberation. New book title: “Switchblade To Freedom.” Ya think? It would be perfectly moral for you to run away – righteously stealing yourself back from somebody that stole you.

Shouldn’t you own yourself? I think so. Don’t feel some kind of way about this Man. Don’t let your “moral sensibilities” fuck you up. Because if white people were similarly situated – this is exactly what they would do and worse. This is one of the few times in which it is a good and honorable thing to emulate white people.

It would be perfectly moral, for you to look to the sky, and tell God: “Fuck You!” for divinely abetting this bullshit. Why? According to the Bible, God and Jesus are unreservedly OK with slavery. Christians remind us everyday that: “God’s In Control.” Right? Now Guys: If God IS IN CONTROL – that would mean this slavery shit too. No exceptions. OK? Niggers will say: “Ah – God didn’t approve of slavery. He was just trying to make slavery more humane. You have to understand the kind of barbarism they had then as well.” Now, let’s remember Guys: “God’s In Control.” That means: He also created the barbarism they had then as well.

Right?

And if he IS “all-powerful,” how would the “times” or any culture of/or at any time, discussed at any time, make any difference to him? How?

Have you ever noticed in the Bible, that whenever “The Lord” really wants things to happen or change – he proactively makes that shit go down RIGHT AWAY?

FIVE EXAMPLES:

1. Creates a whole universe in six days. – Genesis 1:1-2:3 KJV

2. When Adam and Eve fucked up, heaven quickly issued the world’s first eviction notice: “Get OUT NOW!” Didn’t even have time to pack. – Genesis 3:22-24 KJV

3. When God’s “chosen people” were getting the hell out of Dodge [also known as Egypt] – no fucking time wasted – no hesitation – Dude parted the Red Sea in seven seconds flat. – Exodus 13:17-14:29 KJV

4. The Tower Of Babel? NOT happening people – squashed that shit in three seconds. – Genesis 11:1-9 KJV

5. Releasing American Christian Niggers out of Christian slavery? Ahh – Hold On! Let’s – Ahh, lemme think about this. In the meantime – I can put you niggers on this 400 year waiting list. OK? – No Scripture For This Shit 00:00 KJV

Hmm… Let’s see: First Black captives landed in the Americas in 1562 on the good ship “Jesus.” Then later, Abraham Lincoln did us with a fucking “Emancipation Proclamation” in 1863. That’s 301 years. OK? Then, let us add in another 130 years of legal post-slavery bullshit. Christian country? Now from that, we can clearly see that this merciful God keeps the well-being of Black people securely in mind as an urgent priority. You can see that – Right? Mere seconds or days in response or proaction for everything and everyone else. But several hundred years before the most pious, faithful, enthusiastic Christians on earth, us Native Black Americans, could even receive anything resembling partial relief for our suffering? Niggers are still waiting for the rest of the package. From an “all-powerful” God. Even if God were conclusively proven to exist – that would be all the more reason for me to look up, and give him a solid “FUCK YOU.” Then – I could finish my ice cream…

You See?

Doesn’t God remind you of the Democratic Party?

Look Man. This is slavery. Somebody else OWNING you. A fuckjob just short of murder, solidly approved, starting with Genesis 9:25-27 KJV in the Old Testament. Till the closing Book of the New Testament – ending with Revelation 18:13 KJV.

This. Clearly articulated – with no repeal:

“Exhort servants [slaves] to be obedient unto their own masters, and to please them well in all things(?); not answering again [talking back]; Not purloining [stealing] but shewing [showing] all good fidelity; that they may adorn the doctrine of God our Savior in all things.”

Titus 2:9-10 KJV

That is the New Testament. There are sixty-six books in the King James Bible.

Titus is Book number fifty-six Guys! Jesus himself used slaves and slavery in several parables to illustrate certain points. But he never, nowhere repudiated the practice itself. And with that, niggers will still say: “Ahh – slavery was different then…” I am overwhelmingly glad that Black people can’t justifiably apply that kind of then/now excuse-making or logic easily to other things: “Murder IS bad, but you see, murder then was different than the way they kill motherfuckers today.” OR “That’s not correct: Ass-whoopings then were different than the way they pound motherfuckers today.” OR “Naw MAN: Rape 2000 years ago was different than the way they take pussy today.” And on, and on, and on…

You see how stupid that relativistic shit sounds?

It blows me how mostly unlearned (in Biblical studies) Black Christians always attempt to amateurishly sanitize huge piles of theistic bullshit. And then expect everyone else to respect their pious-assed, unlettered nonsense, just because it is arrogantly and authoritatively asserted as religious and biblical.

They may be able to do that with others – but not me.

And Christians…

When you critically read your Bible, don’t allow part-time apologist Christians to persuade you to believe those “nice” words rendered as “servant” or “bondman” (in some translations) to mean something other than “slave.” Some translations render that word [slave] in a “softer” way so you can ignorantly skip-over the ugly brutality of what that nasty word communicates. “Servant” or “bondman” means the SLAVE position interchangeably within any context in any Bible, along with all the conditional bullshit that comes with it. I own and reference from twelve fucking different Bible versions. I KNOW what I am talking about.

Now – some amateur apologists will say that this “Holy Bible” is really talking about an “employment situation” (seriously?!), or that most instances of slavery were actually contractual agreements:

“Both thy bondmen [male slaves], and thy bondmaids [female slaves], which thou shalt have, shall be of the heathen [non-Israelites] that are round about you; of them shall ye buy bondmen and bondmaids.”

Leviticus 25:44 KJV

Does that sound like a “contractual agreement” to you?

Doesn’t “buy” mean “purchase?” Like acquiring property?

How about this killer:

“Moreover of the children of the strangers that do sojourn among you, of them shall ye buy, and of their families that are with you, which they begat in your land; and they shall be your possession. And ye shall take them as an inheritance for your children after you, to inherit them for a possession; they shall be your bondmen forever: but over your brethren [tribe] the children of Israel, ye shall not rule one over another with rigor.”

Leviticus 25:45-46 KJV

Seriously? So, if you “hire” a slave you get to keep his kids too? Forever? So, this is some kind of “employment?” How do niggers blow past this shit?

What would an “application for slavery” look like?

Matthew, in “The Nine Beatitudes” – Matthew 5:1-12 KJV – got plenty of stuff to help you keep your mental self-enslavement game up to par. Dumb shit like:

Verse 3 – Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Verse 4 – Blessed are those that mourn: for they shall be comforted.

Verse 5 – Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.

Verse 8 – Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.

Verse 9 – Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.

Verse 11 – Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.

Verse 12 – Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.

This is all passive – slave shit. The owners of Christianity (white people) don’t do any of this shit. “Reward in heaven?” “Meek motherfuckers inheriting the earth?” “Peacemakers?” Really? My history books show me that the ass-kickers, bombers, and shooters are the ones that take AND inherit the motherfucking earth.

Where are the “meek” inheriting anything?

The last thing that one should be on the lookout for, as you are reading your Bible without assistance; is the tired, Old Testament versus New Testament smokescreen when the issue of slavery is being discussed. Again, there is no repeal of the practice in either Testament. And there are more positive references to slavery in the New Testament as opposed to the Old Testament (read your Bible and see).

And did not Jesus state:

“Think not that I am come to destroy [revoke] the Law or the Prophets [of the Old Testament]. I did not come to destroy but to fulfill.”

Matthew 5:17 KJV

Meaning: “Don’t think I came to change things. I am here to make sure that all of this Old Testament shit will keep going Down. Down. Down. And that includes SLAVERY motherfuckers!” Well. that’s Jesus for you. So Guys, if you make light of this, don’t fold when being accused of “misinterpreting;” or “twisting the word;” or of “not having enough faith;” or for “taking things out of context;” or for “not being covered in the Blood;” or, for you not over or under-standing some “deeper meaning.” Nope. This is all, off-tracking, change the fucking direction of the conversation bullshit. If you allow yourself to be influenced by this nonsense? Please. The Bible has no more “deeper meaning” than a roll of toilet paper.

Stop listening to the pious knuckleheads – and get yourself a beer.

Made it this far? You Good? Might as well finish this off with Part Three.